Just Say Stop!
An unheralded return to civilization revealed the depths of my investment in being chased. Up ahead Ajax was busy chatting animatedly away with an older gentleman. I’d known him for about six months and admired his stable yet self-serving character. Shrugging off paranoid fears of being responsible for his change in character, I carried on. Yet, it felt nice to be reminded I wasn’t the only one with problems in the world.
He saw me and approached, ranting and raving about being ‘jacked-up’ by the cops and losing everything: drugs, money, and merch. Stifling the need to compete with own ‘oh-yeah-well-I-just-tried-to-end-my-life’ story, I pretended to listen, hoping he’d run out of steam. Out of nowhere he blurted out “that’s it! From now on I’m just going to put my foot down. From now on I’m just going to say stop!” I’d never seen him so angry and worked up before. Pushing aside fears of being judged for not listening, I looked him straight in the eye and asked him to repeat himself. He did. Then everything changed. “That’s it!” I said excitedly, “Just say stop!”
Suddenly everything brightened. A wave of dark energy rose up from my feet to my shoulders and out of my body. He recoiled; I couldn’t move. Shocked to be experiencing firsthand something I’d only read about in religious/spiritual texts, I let go and surrendered. Surrounded by dazzling white light, sweet angelic singing soothed the nerves relegating the harsh demonic voices to distant memory. In the here and now, a flame emanated from my crown to the heavens above. It was with a sense of sweet victory that those things that used to ravage me now served as fuel for the raging fire within. A spiritual breeze fanned flames to a raging cool intensity. Thoughts, feelings and senses became alive. In a composition that celebrated the elemental forces of nature and life, even ignorance played its part. Everything was alive. I, we, were one!
Feeling nothing but love, I saw how beautiful he truly was. The Universe – or dared I say it God – still spoke: ‘rise up, there’s work to be done!’ My soul wept for the freedom and purpose it now knew. I, an unknown variable in the equation of life, now felt so incredibly alive. I not only had seen the light, I was that light!
© Michael J. Varma, The Gong Show, 2011 –
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