A Dreamer’s Dream
Thoughts pecked at my mind like baby chicks waiting to be fed. With only a few worms of knowledge, how did I decide who was more worthy of feeding? And who’d look after the rest? Burdened by the sheer weight of parental responsibility, I turned towards my heart. Was it pride that wanted me to have lofty goals or was I destined to have only plain and simple ones? Depressed, I cried my fears to the Universe. It answered as it always seemed to with stunning grace and power. Loving voices told me that carrying on step by step was the plain and simple approach. They’d take care of the rest. Relieved, part of me still struggled with not understanding how and why I wasn’t everyone’s savior.
And so I began. One by one, little by little, piece by piece. After a few days something remarkable happened! People began to change, one by one then more and more including people I’d never met or had any chance of knowing. While I felt inept to not be everyone’s savior, people were being saved that I couldn’t possibly have reached. I smiled in awe at the unbelievable power the Universe had in reaching so many with only a select few. Here before me was the Hundredth Monkey Effect in living, breathing holographic action. If God, He/She/It, held such unimaginable power maybe I wasn’t supposed to know the Mind of God just my own. But could I handle knowing less than I wanted?
Unshackled by responsibility that wasn’t mine and in reality had never been, life became easier to deal with. A famous line from the song Are You Lonesome Tonight made famous by Elvis sprang to mind: ‘…someone said that the world’s a stage and each must play a part. Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweet heart.‘ My heart cracked open and tears welled up for beauty of Elvis’ gift to the world. I didn’t have to reach everyone and wasn’t supposed to. No, others had parts to play in accordance with God’s divine plan. I just had to play my part, with you as my sweetheart.
Peace of mind and heart brought clarity to see who and who not to teach. It still felt unnerving to trust everyone was reachable, but not by me alone! Yet maybe that was the true purpose of spirituality, religion, sociability and making friends. Free from being the manager of the universe, lessons were free to impact people in ways I couldn’t dream of. Even violent people served a purpose: teaching others what not to do. If people chose to stay then they’d have to face them too. A new respect emerged for them and others playing their God-given roles. Now I could concentrate on passing knowledge on to those willing to listen and leave those who didn’t in the hands of the Universe. This was learning in its truest form: alive, vibrant and untethered by power and manipulative hands. NA told us to be wary of taking the easier way, but maybe just this once they were wrong.
In fact, what if depending on others and professionals to cure to our problems was only a socially accepted meme and not the whole picture? If they really wanted to help, they also had to evolve and get out of their offices and meet people in their respective environments. So called normal people did it all the time: friends learned from friends and even enemies over coffee, the phone and other social media. Science itself owed a debt of gratitude to every human being, animal, element and force of nature. All it took was a willingness to listen, learn and respect our teachers – whatever form they took. Only then could true respect evolve accordingly.
Ajax laughed because people thought the homeless were an organized group bent on destruction. Nothing was further from the truth. Most were too busy being rebels to conform to a group mentality. If they were united it was only by circumstance. Such was the beauty and curse of rebellious freedom. Seeing how every segment of society had its leaders, dealers, pushers, Good Samaritans and Robin Hoods, I had a crazy idea: if being unemployed was a natural part of the process of employment, what if the homeless were like one of the lost tribes of Israel waiting to be brought into the fold of humanity? What if their energy could be harnessed for worthier goals than rebellion, anger and dejection?
After reading a book about quantum entanglement, I had a fascinating idea: what if I could apply this new scientific technology to understand relationships as well. After all, it was one of the fundamental properties of the theory. Armed with a new raison d’etre, I made one of the most painful decisions of my life to make use of my relationship with Tom for the greater good: to get me, him and those who knew us to better understand relationships in general. The best way I knew was through the astrological relationship between Gemini and Pisces.
By combining Gemini’s ability to cover mental surface area and Pisces’ emotional depth hopefully the necessary volume would be created. While there was an almost infinite set of astrological combinations to choose from, I had to make do with what the Universe offered: Tom’s lightning fast mind, sense of humor and sociability and my own willingness, emotionality and thirty-nine years of experience. Ignited with a new sense of purpose, the street kids reached out to those around them turning one another into teachers and students.
People thought I was a fool, but I was and embraced it wholeheartedly. I would’ve been more concerned if they didn’t!
© Michael J. Varma, The Gong Show, 2011 –
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