The Same But Different
From a disassociated perch of nowhereness, I kept to myself, got high and did what I did best – observed the world in silent passivity. The street kids kept busy maintaining their rebellious sense of independent higher truth. So-called normal people busied themselves with usual conformity. All in all it was remarkably boring, but I wasn’t complaining. It was better than what I had to offer.
And so I observed.
The Grand Unified Theory of physics strove to connect everyone and everything: humans, animals, minerals, elements and forces into a single unified whole. But how could drugging and dissecting objective reality into discrete units lead to finding intrinsic connectivity? How would the friends and families of scientists feel being experimented on. Not too good I guessed. There’d probably be a revolution and science in its current state would surely fall. Maybe it was just what the doctor ordered for science to evolve into a more complete, humanistic, holistic form, but science wasn’t yet brave enough to handle the limitations of being right only within self-proclaimed beliefs.
According to Krishnamurti life was relationship. Yet what was life, relationship and my, our, relationship to everything known and unknown; to life and all its creatures great and small? Were we forever cursed to take sides or did the truth lie in the inter-connected shades of gray? I set out on a journey to find out.
After thirty-nine years of human observation, one common thread amazed me: everyone was basically doing the same things. The only real difference (uniqueness) was in the way we did the same things: eating, drinking, defecating, sleeping, loving, partying, shopping, working, complaining, laughing and crying, etc. Sure I’d met new people, done a few new things, had some sexual encounters, got a few diseases, but all that could’ve happened with or without drugs. The irony of rebelling was a real rebel eventually rebelled against rebelling or was just a conformist rebel! Rebel or not, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was exactly where I was supposed to be. While it sounded like predestination, it also revealed there might be another place from which things originated. Maybe it was the same place where all sensory information went and not just the piece-meal scraps doled out to make life comfortable. Either way, I only hoped it was safer, securer and saner than this one!
Lost and a rebel without a cause, I surrendered. In a flash of insight, I saw how negative feelings were classified on the basis of how they felt about a particular experience. Yet, that was so subjective. What if there was no such thing as negative feelings at all, but simply feelings. That way all of them had some inherent value whether we liked them or not.
Scientists paid little attention to feelings. Sure most wore white lab coats, but under the surface they were human beings with feelings just like anyone else. Regular people were just their polar opposites. I mean, how many people were offended seeing someone wearing the same clothes as them? There had to be another path that honored them without dismissing them. The same could be true of sex. History books were ripe with tales of the primal sexual urges of nobles, rich, church and commoners alike. How many illegitimate children had claims to the thrones of history? Maybe The National Enquirer wasn’t so wrong after all – alien babies and sightings of Elvis aside! Whatever the case, my inquiring mind wanted to know!
© Michael J. Varma, The Gong Show, 2011 –
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